body language

7.29.2025 | 8:58pm | Tuesday | body language

unspoken understanding

I can’t really be as open about this as I’d like to be. For whatever reason, it’s not important, because It’s obvious and it’s been obvious since forever… I get nervous, I get flustered, I can’t think straight, I can’t focus, I get bubbly and start singing random love songs at the sight of her, it’s always been this way. I could never muster up a word or tell her because that would only complicate everything. They day to day hi’s & hello’s tend to keep me at bay. [double entendre] a smile could make my whole day brighter. Knowing deep down that we could never be, I have to accept the bare minimum and find fulfillment in it.

she knows

For whatever reason, I have valid reason to believe that she is well aware of the internal dialog that goes on in my head, even if I can’t explain it to you, even if she never admits it. I know she knows. For a while I believed it was mutual, still might be somewhere but the more time goes on, I think she just has a flirty personality. It is what it is, I accept it for what it is, I respect what it’s not and enjoy the feeling I get from this little crush.

frown upside down

I can’t even say too much more without blowing my cover. Welp, it is what it is and it makes a shitty couple weeks feel a lot better, which means the situation isn’t that bad in the first place. Breathe, relax, process, move forward.