reflections @ 37
12.21.2025 | 5:03am | Sunday | reflections @ 37
In retrospect—looking back
Records & Tapes was and will forever be a dream, but it couldn’t possibly be THE dream. I have bigger visions than a popular music shop in southeastern Wisconsin. Even if my biggest aspirations of that vision became real, I still wouldn’t be satisfied. Garnering the attention of many and brining in tourists from all over the world to see what I’ve been building will be a fulfilling moment, but it’s more than that… an Idea Company opens the door to so much more.
I am too creative, too sporadic, too rambunctious and I am too wild to reserve the dream for something humble. I have big dreams, my body won’t allow proper rest until I make them real and bring them to life. Sometimes it’s this, other times it’s that. Music is a major part of who I am and how I got here, but I must evolve. We live in a streaming era and record shops aren’t what they used to be [i.e Sam Goody — google it] Kids will eventually not realize the difference between a cassette tape and VHS movie. It is what it is, I’m not mad at it, I’ve never been afraid to shift gears and I’m proud to have merch to commemorate the moment and to testify when that dream does come to life.
More Than The Music
Look, at 37 I’m not trying to be “Out Here” making music for people who don’t even listen, while trying to reach a demographic of people who aren’t really interested in the storyline. I’ve always been a somewhat alternative style of music. Something not traditional and a little off. I’m not for everybody and I’m okay with that. I enjoy the craft and I think I do well. I think I’m an excellent song crafter and wordsmith, but I don’t think I’m a good entertainer [musically] nobody wants to hear this story. Early 20’s to 32 was cool, but I feel like it’s a broken record. [No pun intended] maybe hopeless romantic is just an aesthetic I’ve absorbed. Since that whole tiktok mishap in 2020. I’ve had a solid return on my musical investment and I would be foolish to continue that gamble instead of taking the money and walking away to reinvest in another passion.
Dear Music, I will never stop making… I will always loving.. and I will forever be protecting the sacredity of you, but I am formally surrendering my music dream to pursue something new, but I’ll always be close by. RMFC < RJC
Idea Company
I always keep a notebook and a writing utensil. Even when I wasn’t writing or drawing, at some point in early in my rideshare journey.
These little journals would morph into annual “Ideas + Concepts” books. Sketches and brainstorms of ideas I had. Product design, furniture design, lyrics, songs, poems, doodles, brand name brainstorming, logo drafts, floor plans, room layouts, candle recipes endless ideas and many concepts I actually created and brought to life. Music, Candles, Crossword Puzzles, Furniture, Merch. Sometimes I surprise and amaze myself with things I’ve done. I enjoy many products I’ve made and use most of the furniture I imagined. At the end of the day. I am a maker more than I was ever a performer.
In 2025, it became apparent that changes needed to be made. My music computer stopped working and it was detrimental, I went through a lot of work to replace it with something inexpensive but highly functional and usable for my needs. This period of time was the first time since 2008 that I haven’t been able to freely record and produce music at will 24/7/365. I was in a strange state of shock where I wasn’t ready to let go, I spent less than $800 to record again and it wasn’t as fulfilling as it used to be. [there’s still a learning curve I need to adjust to, but it’s not the same a freestyling in the car] dreams evolve.
I’ll have to settle for the Cool Uncle with Bars in the Car rather than superstar, but if I would’ve become a famous musician I probably would’ve crashed out in the worst way publicly. [God was protecting me from a life I wasn’t built for, thank you] but in aspiring to make my music dreams come true I became skilled in every other aspect of building an artist. Marketing, Production, Merch, Art Department, Social Media. Naturally as a creative it was just part of the process. When you stop making music the focal point of it all, it opens up the door to so much more.
Endless Ideas
It doesn’t stop. My brain functions at a high rate, maybe I’m not the smartest person in the world, but my brain is always active. I’ll wake up with a random idea and then add that to the mix of stuff I’m already working on. Sometimes it’s a quick logo idea that takes 30 minutes other times it’s a slow burn where I buy a vinyl piece of fabric and wait 9 months to start forming it into a organize and welcome sign for rideshare, but with consistent thought effort and energy I see many of my ideas become real and that’s the magic of it all.
“Everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you and you can change it, you can influence it, you can build your own things that other people can use.” - Steve Jobs
I want to do my part to contribute to good into the world and love into my projects and passion into my connections. Money is helpful when you are ambitious and constantly experimenting, but it isn’t everything and you can accomplish a lot with a little. It’s all about the mindset and how you do it. Frugality is simple. We make excuses and reasons to spend more than we need to. It is critical to be smart with every cent you spend, earn and save. The quickest change you can make is stop buying dumb shit and use that money to make more and repeat repeat repeat.
Aaron James Draplin
I had my last vacation week from work reserved for last week of September. After the new car got broken into I decided to stay close to home and try to get things situated. I kept feeling like a bum, because I like to make the most of my time off work. I kept getting ads for a design convention at UW-whitewater. At 36.7 years old I was hesitant. I’ve been self re-learning for a while but it’s a career I knew I could get inspired by. Whether I jumped in or not. So I bought the ticket early and still debated on going the day of. I decided to quit being a bitch and just go. Bring my lil portfolio, stickers and “connection cards” just to see where it might lead. The first speaker was Sydney Michuda, I recognized her work quickly when I remember my visit to the chocolate factory and connected the dot that she did the rebrand that I admired so much. The next company was insightful, but it just seemed like their whole branding was forced and relatively corny but they did good work and a solid team unit that was a new take for me to imagine creatively working with a team.
then it was the man the myth the legend. Someone I knew zero information about but have since studied every YouTube video that I could. A simple man, a weathered journey through design. Snowboard magazines, to his own brand. Saving money, building his dream and sharing the tools of the trade. Someone who didn’t come off as arrogant or intentionally edgey. It was just him rough around the edges never wearing “pants” and working hard and wildly creative. This was when I realized I could do this, I want to do this and will refocus my direction from this experience.
Fraud & Bum
I did the meet & greet, I bought the book, I have him some stickers and my crossword puzzle, but I felt like such a bum. I emailed him to let him know. Many if not most of my designs incorporated cheap clip art and now AI generations. Being around “professional” designers made me feel phony for not being authentic and true to the craft and have since vowed to not used clip art or AI in my work. [with just one reasonable exception] but I’ll save that for a later day. He wrote back some kind words, but I will never forget the day I met AJD. Thank you for helping me find a little more focused direction.
2026 — looking forward
I have every intention of doubling down on all my passion projects. The Candles are coming soon. The rideshare upgrades are in process, the future plans are loosely outlined and I’m ready to get to work. I am turning this blog into a monthly editorial for my rideshare passenger with monthly “zines” as they say with random stuff. This is an evolution of the RMFC crossword puzzle using a skill I learned in Graphic Arts class with Mr. Biel at Waukesha West to create an 8 page layout for a 16 page booklet.
There will be more stickers, more merch, more candles, more rides and one new idea I’ve been working on for only a couple weeks that I’m excited to get rolling but I’m going to take my time and do it right. See you soon.
i’ll be out here
with love
Rudy J Cruz